I'm leaving, forever
by emilyisnotonfireandneverwillbe
Summary: Jade makes a decision that may change the course of Bade.
1. Chapter 1

She stared at the blue line. _Pregnant._

How could she be pregnant ? Only once they had not used a condom. Fucking once! She had wanted a little pick-me-up and Beck was happy to comply. _Onlyfuckingonce._

She scrambled from her sitting position on the RV's bathroom floor, moving so her cheek could rest against the cool metal tiles. Beck was out buying tampons. She'd pretended it was her time, but really it hadn't been for months. He had blushed when she'd told him to buy her some feminine products, and then left, even though he didn't have a fucking idea what he was buying. _He'll be gone for hours, _she thought as the tiles left small triangular imprints on her face. _He's fucking useless, how could he ever raise a baby?_

How could she raise a baby? She was seventeen, dirt poor and jobless. She'd been excluded from Hollywood Arts for arson, and Beck had been her only solace. But she'd kicked him out of the picture ever since that blue line appeared in her life, now she was left alone. So fucking alone. What was she to do?

Jade sat up suddenly – she had to leave.


	2. Chapter 2

Jade scrambled around the RV, desperately searching for Beck's yellow checked shirt – something for her to remember him by, but all she could find was the red one.

It was useless. It was practically hers now, and after wearing it a couple hundred times it stank like her. If she left, she needed something of Beck's, covered in his scent. Aftershave, hair mouse and sweat – not the disgusting, clammy stuff, but the kind that accompanied ragged breathing after a night of makeup sex. God she loved that smell. The sex wasn't half bad either.

It sounded stupid, but if she was to be alone now, with nothing but a baby for company she needed something of Beck's – that smelt like him – with her. Something to cuddle up to on those cold nights, God knows where, whilst the baby cried all night. It would comfort her, help her to believe he was still there.

She needed him, she realised. He had to be with her on those nights. He just had to. But he couldn't, she couldn't ruin his life with this baby – fuck, it wasn't even that. Just a growing foetus in her stomach. If it was so small, so meaningless, than why was it ripping her and Beck apart?

Maybe it was a sign. A sign that her a Beck were never going to work. _Ever._ He was so more suited to Vega, that skinny bitch. At least she didn't have a baby growing inside of her. And anyway, Vega would treat him well, tell him he was amazing – Jade had never done that - he would love it, would be happy with Tori. Happier than with her. _So fucking happy_.

Which is what you want, Jade retold herself. She had wasted precious minutes contemplating her shitty, so called life. To many minutes, so she grabbed one of Beck's infamous biker boots, scrawled a note on the side with a sharpie and put the other one on. Like Cinderella, she thought, but my prince will never find me. _Reality isn't a fucking fairy tale._

As she grabbed her bag, she took one last look around the RV. So many memories, so many more to come – but this time without her. And without a second glance she turned around and left, slamming the RV door for the last time.


	3. Chapter 3

Beck POV

He entered the doorway, neither confused nor offended to why it was hanging open, and dented. Jade, he thought. A smile playing on his lips as he thought of his girlfriend.

He'd been gone almost an hour now, picking up feminine hygiene products. Yeah, it creeped the shit out of him, but he would do anything for Jade. Fuck. He would _die_ for her.

He almost did that last semester. Jade had attempted to set Tori's hair on fire with a lighter and a can of hairspray. Apparently curls were her thing, but Helen had none of it. Tori had received third degree burns, had her hair engulfed by the flames and to top it off, Jade had set alight to Sikowitz's classroom – almost killing herself in the process. Beck saved his girl, but the same could not of been said for Tori's hair. It was cremated. Completley.

Jade was expelled, but she didn't give a flying fuck. At least Vega's a balding, disgusting bitch now, Jade had joked, so fucking ugly as God had intended. And Beck had laughed with her – he liked Tori, they were friends, but Jade was his girl, he loved her to hell and back, and supported her through everything, even vengeful arson attacks.

Beck's phone lit up. He checked his inbox and saw a new message from Cat.

_Haay Beck, Tori's hair is growing back so were having a partay at her house! OMG It's like a hair party! Don't worry Jade's invited, so come nowsszz!_

Bec k texted Jade to come meet him in the car. She was probably inside his house looking for something to eat. As he went to change out of his converse, he picked up one of his boots and read the message scrawled onto the side.

_Don't come looking_

It was written in a rush. Almost illegible. But the shock soon hit him. It was written in Jade's font. And where was his other shoe? He looked around the RV. Nowhere to be seen, and Jade's bag was missing too. The Hell? Where the fuck was Jade? Yeah, she could be dramatic sometimes, but never like this.

He put his converse back on, grabbed his keys and jumped in his car. Jade had to be joking, right? Maybe this was a prank, she was probably at Tori's party. Cat loved to mass text, Jade had already gotten the invite and had gone straight to Tori's house. Yeah. That was it. But then why had Cat reassured him that Jade was invited? Fuck's sake Beck, he told himself, your just over thinking everything, and with that he turned on the ignition and sped away to Tori's house.


	4. Chapter 4

The drive to Tori's house was quick. But silent. There was no Jade to talk to, no girlfriend to criticize his driving or try and kiss him when the lights turned red. _No one._

It had been only an hour and he already missed her like fuck. If she wasn't at this party he had no idea what he would do.

As he walked to Tori's porch he remembered back to several months ago. He had dumped his beautiful girlfriend right on these very steps. A mistake he soon came to regret. It had taken the longest five months of his life, a party and a game of spin the bottle to get them back together. Funny. Parties always seemed to be the centre of drama.

He rang the bell and Tori came to answer, flanked by Cat and Andre. She let out a sigh of relief when she saw that Jade had not come, but Beck was soon to dismiss this. "Is she here? Fuck, _please_ tell me she's here." He pushed past the welcome party and into the house. She wasn't there.

He ran up the stairs, desperate to search the floor above. Suddenly the toe of his shoe caught the stair below. He tripped and fell. Fell into everything, into pain, hurt and his love for Jade. It was like falling in love with her all over again. He landed as a heap at the foot of the stairs, clutching his head as his friends rushed over.

"Who's here, man?" Andre said, giving him a hand up. "Jade isn-"

"She's _not_ here." Tori said, stroking her new extensions "Thank God, she's not here."

She wasn't there. Why wasn't she there? She had to be. There was nowhere else she'd be. They were her only friends and this was the only place they'd hang out. Where the fuck was she?

"What's wrong Beck? Why aren't you with Jade?"

He didn't know who asked that. Couldn't identify the voices, as they all slurred into a thick white noise that clouded up his head. Where was Jade, the girl he loved, the girl he'd _die_ for? That fucking meant something to him,_ she _meant something to him. She played such a strong part in his life, and without that part he'd just crumble and fade.

_God, where are you Jade?_


	5. Chapter 5

Jade's POV

She couldn't bare it any longer. She had to see Beck one last time before she left town, with her baby to start her new life.

She was on Tori's porch now, and had no idea of how she'd got here. But his car was parked in the driveway. Wonky. _God, he was such a shit driver._

Jade stood in front of the door. The door that had provided her with such grief earlier that year, that had split her and Beck apart. But unlike their relationship it still stood strong and proud. It was mental, but Jade felt as if that door was mocking her, and Beck, and the baby, and just about everything her life was about. And she hated it. She hated that fucking piece of wood, it might have been just an inanimate lump of oak, but she hated it, how could it be so high and mighty?

Before she knew it she had let go of any measure of sanity she'd once held. She kicked and punched at it, shredding her nails against chipping paintwork and beating her foot, loudly against the wood.

Inside the house, Tori who was busy bandaging Beck's head up, motioned to Cat to open the door. The bouncy redhead skipped across the room and opened the door, just as Jades foot connected to her shin. "Jade oww!" she moaned, grabbing her leg and hopping up and down.

"Shit, Cat!" she replied, startled at her best friends sudden entry. She covered Cat's mouth with her hand and pulled her onto the porch, firmly shutting the door. "Shut the hell up, or Beck will see me!" She quietened, and Jade released her steel grip from her mouth. Cat frowned and rubbed her jaw, "And that's a bad thing? He's looking for you, you know – wait, I should go tell him I found you!" She twirled and went to grab the door handle, but Jade grabbed her again. After several minutes of struggling Cat relaxed and Jade released her. "Woh, Jade when did you become such a ninja?"

"Jesus Cat! Act fucking normal for once. Beck cannot know I'm here. In fact he can never know I'm anywhere." Jade said.

"Have you guys broken up!" she gasped. "Why?"

"Because Cat, I'm pregnant."

"With someone else? Naw, Jade! That's bad! You cannot cheat on yo' man!

"No. _Shit. _Beck's the father, but he can't ever know that. It would ruin his life. I can't do that to him. So I'm leaving, with my baby. Forever."

"What? How? You have nothing!"

"Whatever. I'll find something, somewhere to call home, and raise my child." Jade looked through the porch window, to the sight of Beck, head in his hands, sitting on the stairs. This separation would devastate him. He'd claimed she was his gravitational pull, that without her his world would stop spinning. But, the hell! He could find other forces, other loves to keep him turning. She knew he would, he was Beck Oliver. He was amazing. She loved him to bits because of it, loved it so much she wasn't selfish enough to ruin his life. And anyway, one day that child would be amazing too, and she would love it, just like her Beck.

Jade took one fleeting look at her love, turned around and headed to the car, where she'd packed up her things from home. Her life in boxes. The first time it had ever been organised.

"Wait, Jadddddddde!" Cat yelled, running down the porch steps. "You're not leaving without me!"

"Cat, your being stupid, _go back inside_."

"No, I love you too! You're my best friend! You need me, and anyways I'll be your baby daddy!"

Jade smiled at the bipolar red head. They'd been through everything together, it made sense that this new chapter – and baby of their lives was done with each other too.

"Get in the car Cat." She said turning on the ignition.

And with that they were gone.


End file.
